How to get going when you find no motivation?
What’s your definition of a good life?
A 3 BHK flat in a plush apartment, Honda City to drive, Six digits salary, Shopping every month, Honeymoon in Switzerland, Holidaying twice a year in Club Mahindra at prime location, Movie and dinner every weekend, Netflix every night, Amazon Alexa, firestick, a smart TV, a MacBook, an iPad, an iPhone X, an unused Kindle, Huge bookshelf with hundreds of unread books, a Lavie handbag, Zara and Veromoda to wear, 50 pairs of shoes…
We all dream of this kind of life. Isn’t it?
Wait. Really? Do you dream of living this life? I don’t. Ever since I realised something critical about it.
I don’t have a problem with this lifestyle either but let me warn you, this lifestyle will only make you comfortable. More comfortable. Extremely comfortable in life. You will earn all material pleasures, enjoy them for time being but later they will imprison you forever.
You are bored of routine and really want to do something new in life. May it be exercise, travel, a startup or cooking for that matter but you are unable to. Not because you don’t have time, not because you are not willing but because you just don’t feel motivated to do it.
You are so comfortable with your life that you have lost the capacity of welcoming a change.
You so want to change that one thing about you but no matter what you do, it doesn’t happen. You go on a diet for a day but then get busy with routine and how much ever you want to lose weight you go back to eating junk.
Why does it happen with us alway? What’s the reason we can’t stick to our new goals?
And the reason is, there’s a difference between want and need.
If there’s a need, you will do it no matter what. While need creates a sense of urgency, want is a desire. You can desire to have anything but your life doesn’t take it on priority just because the brain hasn’t understood the importance of doing it. Your brain will only register importance when it understands the urgency to do something.
Then how to get going when there’s no motivation, i.e. urgency?
One simple answer to this question is, you can’t get going without the sense of urgency. So what is the possible solution? How to simulate an urgency when there’s no urgency at all?
Put your ass on fire!
Yes! That’s the only solution when you have a comfortable life and no motivation to do anything new.
When all the variables become constant, we don’t have a need for anything. There remain only desires and more desires! That’s the reason I said you get trapped in the prison of material pleasures. The only thing you need to do is, take out one constant from your life. One variable will play beautifully! You will become willing for accepting the change and life will become more flexible.
What’s the reason that one variable increases your motivation level?
The reason lies in “Motivation theories” of Psychology. Let’s try to understand a bit about it.
There are two types of motivation -
- Intrinsic: you enjoy what you do and that’s the only reason you seek to do the task more
- Extrinsic: external reason makes you do the task and there is little or no enjoyment associated with the task.
Let’s take an example. I want to exercise every morning but I am bored to get up early, get ready and go out. I literally have to push myself to perform this task. The reason lies in motivation, I may enjoy exercising but I don’t enjoy the process i.e. getting up early, get ready, go out, walk till the garden and then exercise. This means I lack internal motivation because I am so comfortable in my bed early morning that I don’t want to get up! Even if there’s a want, I don’t really need to get out of the bed and hence I fail to enjoy the process.
You need to be externally motivated to exercise if you don’t enjoy exercising. The solution is, eliminate one constant to bring in one variable i. e. put your ass on fire!
Think about all the good things associated with exercising: look at the perks of exercising, think about the importance of exercising, set a target such as 30 days challenge etc. These tricks are positive reinforcements in operant conditioning of psychology.
Think about all the bad things associated with no exercising: take an example of a friend who has recently got detected with diabetes or cholesterol, think about what bad can happen to you if you don’t exercise etc. These tricks are negative reinforcements in operant conditioning of psychology.
Now that you understand that your mind can be conditioned, make use of reinforcements (rewards) and punishments in a smart way for setting external motivation for yourself.
External motivation helps you to start with your plan and stick to it for a while. Of course, there will be days when you will feel bored of motivating yourself but that’s the time to make use of punishments smartly!
Operant conditioning is the key to motivate yourself.
The bad news is external motivation is a long phase but the good news is, it will pass and you will start enjoying exercising one day. How?
Challenging yourself: 30 days of exercising is superb ego boost! It will help you to seek approval from yourself and from the people around you that you are going great. This will prevent you from missing the task no matter what although you don’t enjoy the task. This phase is called as ‘Introjection’.
When you are constantly exercising for 20 odd days, you will start understanding the value of exercising as you will start feeling fresh, you tend to be more active, you will start losing weight and inches, you will start looking thinner etc. Point to be noted that you will feel that the task is important for you i.e. you will start associating ‘value’ with the task. This is called as ‘Expectancy-Value theory’ in psychology and the phase is called as ‘Identification’.
Once you identify yourself with the value of exercising or as one who exercises, you develop an interest in the task and your interest will then keep you going till the time it becomes your passion. And I don’t have to tell you what passion is to you. You know it better! Good news is, you are now internally motivated. Exercising is integral to you now. Hence you will not let the task go. You will do it no matter what because now, you enjoy doing it!
Now, let me ask you again,
What’s your definition of a good life?
A 3 BHK flat in a plush apartment, Honda City to drive, Six digits salary…
OR
The ability to welcome the change in your life?
No matter how rich you are, no matter how comfortable you are, no matter how stable and secure you are…
you always need that one variable in your life to get you going!
I call this ‘one variable’ a question mark.
A question mark has the power to bring positive change to the life.
Not being stable and secure but being uncertain is important to explore life to the fullest!
Read my post on “The Question Mark: Driving force of Life” here.
For availing content writing services in Education, Psychology and Stories of People, Startups and Innovation, please respond to this post.
Zat Rana Personal Growth Brian Kelly - Professional Speaker, Published Author, Certified Personal Trainer Personal Life Coach Psychology Behind Collabra: Psychology Psychology Decoded Thepdproject — Psychology Success Motivation Motivation Matter Motivation Daily A Life of Productivity TOA.life Editorial Akanksha Self Help India Services Self Help Junkie The Seed Book Self Help Books Self Help Guru Beyourself Entrepreneur Handbook Life Hack Thrive Global Sean Kim Vikas Jha